When I realised that what I was going through in my marriage was not normal, I called Koleinu to share my pain. I was doubting my sanity and felt confused, hurt and angry. The Koleinu volunteer listened with empathy and sensitivity and helped me work through some options. I did not have to give my name which made it a lot easier. I was able to call as many times as I needed for support. Since then I have made great strides in taking back my power and putting up healthy boundaries.
I am so grateful that Koleinu was there as I do not know how much longer I could have survived the abuse.
On behalf of all women who may be suffering from abuse and living in constant fear, I implore you to generously support Koleinu now and for many years to come.
With much thanks and appreciation
Dearest Rebbetzin Wendy And Rozanne
I want to express my sincerest thanks for v giving b me the courage to file for divorce. You helped me believe in myself again. You listened and gave of your precious time. You encouraged me to have the courage of my convictions. You made me realize that I had a right to feel the way I did. You gave me insight into my situation. I always knew I could turn to you. You always got back to me immediately. You are so devoted dedicated and loyal.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Melanie said that at first her husband Jason just seemed to be particular. He wanted his supper ready when he got home. He wanted the cups in the kitchen cupboard lined up in a specific order. Melanie did not question these demands. In fact, she worked very hard to satisfy them and make her new husband happy. However, whatever she did never seemed good enough.
At first Jason indicated his disapproval by muttering under his breath, making sarcastic remarks and withdrawing from her. In time however, he began to attack Melanie with barrages of outright insults. On one occasion, he thought that she had said something ‘stupid’ when they were out for Shabbos lunch. When they got home, he told her to stand in front of him and explain to him why it was that she was incompetent, why she didn’t feel that it was important to please her husband and why she couldn’t correctly perform tasks that any ‘retard’ could do. When he had finished berating her, he made her stand where she was and ‘think’ about what she had done and how she could improve herself.
These verbal assaults became longer and more vicious over time. He called her stupid, ugly and lazy. Finally after one particularly bad incident, Melanie told a friend what was happening. Her friend encouraged her to call Koleinu. As Melanie began to talk about all that had happened, the Koleinu volunteer helped her realize how skewed her perspective had become. She used to be so happy and confident, perceived by others as capable and accomplished. Now she questioned everything she did. She didn’t understand what had happened to her.
By phoning Koleinu, she took the first big step towards getting help.
*names have been changed